The woman who bought our house wants me to show her around the garden and tell her how everything works. Am I the asshole for saying no?

It's kinda awkward.

Part of me thinks that I just sold her the house, not a personal tutor ship. I spent 16 years building this garden and I learnt as I went. I spend an hour at least three days a week pruning, weeding ,planting, picking, surveying. I have an intimate knowledge of the place I cannot possibly pass on in an hour.

But it's not as if I'm not generous and helpful.

As I sit here eating the artichokes I grew, cooked and dressed in fresh garlic, vinegar, olive oil, thyme and oregano, on rye bread with goats cheese, I set to writing.

It's a Bible of sorts, my top tips I've learnt over the years. A bit of a seasonal guide of what to do each month, and what to expect.

Late November, as you might realize, is time for picking artichokes. But the big leaves get cut and layered in the compost, creating air pockets, alongside other big greens like cabbage leaves and comfrey and rhubarb, also plentiful right now. I've started a compost for her - there's enough greens and browns for me to do that. Off runs a rabbit from underneath - she'll have to learn their 🐰 rabbity habits too, else fence the place better.

*Me in 2013

Artichokes are one of the first things I grew here. They pop up every year but die off after flowering. I'm sure she will wonder where they went as they would have been there when she was viewing the place. I don't know how much she knows about gardening but it's good news that her sister in the next town has a big permaculture place.

I always put chicken straw round the artichokes, and a handful or five of blood and bone or dynamic lifter twice a year. I get great flowers, so something works. No one told me to do this. I just experimented. I wish I'd had a personal garden tutor.

It could be worse, I suppose. The other guy who out in an offer said the garden had no value and he would get rid of it. No artichokes for him. No lemons or limes or mandarins, no cabbage or raspberries.

But then, no rabbits either..

With Love,

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