Why an Engagement Meal Feels Like a Mini Celebration

Everyone has their happy moments. One of them is getting engaged. Well, at least here it is. Elsewhere, it might be different.

In Europe, proposals are usually simple yet romantic—down on one knee, a ring, maybe a surprise in a park or a restaurant. But in Indonesia, getting engaged isn’t just about two people. It’s a full-on family affair.

That morning, we arrived in a group.

Everyone was there: the moms with their tiny purses filled with who-knows-what, the dads mostly silent except for the occasional polite cough, and the kids immediately claiming the most comfortable seats they could find. If not for the engagement, this scene could’ve easily been mistaken for a family reunion or a holiday gathering.

Following tradition, everything was formal.

The spokesperson for the groom’s family—usually the most confident person in the group—started the speech. The content was predictable: explaining the purpose of the visit and asking for the family’s blessing. Yet, everyone listened intently, as if it were breaking news, even though we all knew this was just the opening act.

I sat at the back, half-listening and fighting off yawns because the speech dragged on. But that’s tradition for you. Formality matters, they say. It’s supposed to make everything feel more sacred.

Though, if you ask me, the most sacred moment isn’t during the speeches—it’s when we all gather to eat together afterward. But that comes later.

After that, it was the bride’s family’s turn to speak.

They responded warmly, welcoming everyone with smiles and polite words. Then came the introductions, where every family member was presented one by one—names, titles, and occasionally a bit of unnecessary backstory that made everyone chuckle politely.

After that, it was the bride’s family’s turn to speak.

They greeted us warmly, introducing family members one by one with a kind of formality that was more endearing than strict. Names, titles, and some unnecessary but charming details followed—like how one uncle apparently once got lost on the way to his own house.

But then, finally, we got to my favorite part: the meal.

Everyone sat cross-legged on the floor, lined up neatly around the spread of food. There’s an art to eating like this, especially when the dishes have a lot of sauce.

It’s not just about eating; it’s about not spilling onto the carpet. There were little laughs as kids started getting restless, and moms tried to keep them in check while sneaking bites of their own.

And this, right here, is where everything felt warm and real. Light chatter mixed with the sound of spoons scraping plates, a few jokes thrown around, and quiet laughter filling the room. It didn’t just feel like an engagement gathering—it felt like a small celebration of togetherness. A moment where, for just a while, everyone left their worries at the door and simply enjoyed being a family.