Be the first to wave!

10 comments

xrayman4 K6 days agoPeakD3 min read

^{https://pixabay.com/photos/wave-your-hand-cat-deco-lucky-charm-1028275/}

One way to reduce our social anxiety about rejection or our reduced capacity for social interaction is to do exactly the opposite.

In other words, if we are afraid of not being reciprocated or of not meeting social expectations, what could be better than taking the first step?

It seems easy to say, but is it really that easy to put into practice?

From my perspective, I am more inclined towards the second possibility. But isn't it my fear, my anxiety, and my unfounded fears that plague me and ultimately ruin any opportunity to change things a little?

So I'm going to take a more rational approach.

If I have a problem interacting with people, and if the other person also has a similar personality, then any chance of interaction is doomed from the start, unless there is outside intervention (such as someone who knows both of us).

As I approach half a century of existence, I begin to realize that, emotionally speaking, I have only let myself be carried away a little by the taste of the waves... I have almost never had the attitude of a sailor, but rather that of a vacationer with a float around my waist on a calm lake... Not that this doesn't have some advantages, but it certainly has many more disadvantages.

I can say that my “most serious” relationship ended almost 20 years ago... 20 years. No matter how many times I say it, I don't think I'll ever believe that so much time has passed. Two decades. A whole lifetime. Or at least a large part of a longer life.

And how many more years do I want to continue like this?

That must be the question I should ask myself. And it seems to me that from a more logical point of view, if I want different results, I can't keep doing the same things.

I'm not saying that a change in personality is what I need. In fact, I think that's something to keep. Don't wear a suit that doesn't fit. The discomfort of a suit that is too tight, too loose, or too big should not prevent us from trying to wear it. If we only do the things that are most comfortable for us, we miss out on what could be more advantageous, or what could give us access to other opportunities.

When we meet someone we don't know, why not “reach out” first? Why do we wait for the other person to reach out to us, or smile, or wave, before we respond?

The fear of rejection is completely natural, but it must be put into perspective at all costs... Because the truth is that when we are outside our comfort zone, or our usual area of movement, we end up paying more attention to our surroundings and interacting more with everyone else.

I'm going to try to establish this new habit. When I'm at the gym, for example, or even at the supermarket, saying good morning to those I come across breaks down the initial barrier that separates us from strangers.