5 minute freewrite 2642 prompt lost confidence

This is my post for #freewriters 2642 prompt lost confidence hosted by @mariannewest

I have had a few years to deal with the fact that I can no longer do all of the things that I want to do. My mind tells me I can, but my body says, "No, you can't." I know how hard it has been for me to accept this because I am still dealing with it.

But for this man, it is a lot harder than it has been for me. A few years ago he had to give up cast netting because of three hernia surgeries.

Cast netting was a big part of our income and it was another type of fishing he was having to give up.

He is a man who has always been on the go, even when we are supposed to be relaxing, aka (play fishing) if he is not catching, he is ready to move. I do not care if I am catching I like to sit and relax, that is if he is also not catching, if he is catching and I am not I get upset.

One rule he has is, he puts the boat in the shade, I do not like to be in the shade, I get cold even in 90 degree weather. Lately, he has lost interest in doing anything.

He always tries to stay one step ahead in fishing, he is always thinking about what is coming next and what type of gear do I need to catch it. I do not see any of that happening.

The only thing he despised in fishing was standing in the boat with it going in circles and running crab traps when it was rough. They could not go longer than two days without being run, if you left them for three days, your crabs would be dead. He started tying his traps to the dock and I kept mine in the river. It is a lot easier to walk down the dock and get your crabs than putting a boat in the water just to go run them.

There was one time I lost confidence in our day on the water. He took a banana from his lunch bag. I know it is a silly superstition but every time I have been on a boat with a banana, it was a bad day.

But women are also supposed to be bad luck on a boat too, this woman has been very lucky so all I can say is, a banana and a woman must have some bad MOJO.
this photo was in my pictures, I do not know what site I took it from

I sort of got sidetracked from what I started with so back to my husband. The way he talks to me, it sounds as if he is having it harder than I have been having. He has lost confidence in living. That is what is basically told me.

Yesterday he rode his bike to the community dock and while there he saw an old friend the guy was telling him how he felt, he said he was 73 and no longer cared about anything, and to tell the truth he did not care if he was here anymore. My husband told me that he told his friend that he thought he was the only one who felt that way.

I told my husband I had to find things I enjoyed doing and I could still do, I have always loved growing plants and having flowers around the house. It keeps me busy. He told me there is nothing he enjoys doing. I think he needs a trip to his doctor and get himself some happy pills.
photos are mine