Finding Closure In My Own Way🫂

What do they say about grief again?

They say the less attached you are to a person, the less painful it gets.
Yesterday, I was at my friend's place and we were busy talking when I finally opened my WhatsApp to check my messages. Before Sunday, I was offline for three whole days because of how bad the network was, so it was more like a no-network break lol.

I came online, and the first thing I did was go to my department's official WhatsApp group to check for any important information for Monday. The first message I saw left me speechless. I was shocked, and immediately tears started flowing from my eyes. I didn't want to believe what I had just seen, so I asked my friend to help me read the write-up and explain everything to me.
He took the phone and was like, aww it's so sad! .... I couldn't believe that my friend was gone ...*

How I became friends with this guy is weird. Walk with me........

Last year, when I was still hitting the gym, my gym instructor and I had a little chit chat, and I told him I had just gained admission into the university, so I wouldn't be renewing my gym membership.... He asked what department I was in, and I told him. he said he had a younger brother in the same school I applied to and would like for me to be his brother's friend. According to him, his brother didn't have any friends and was always alone, so he would want me to be his brother's friend and just try to bring him out of his shell.

He gave his brother my number, and from there we got talking. He told me he was in the same department as me, but in the 200 level. We made plans to meet up last Dec but couldn't because of some reasons...
Last semester during our exams, he said he saw me walking with my friends but couldn't say hi. We laughed about how shy he was, and I told him to say hi when next we met, and he concurred.
We would check up on each other randomly, and somehow, we stopped talking, only for me to find out yesterday that he passed on since April...

This feeling of guilt has been inside of me, am I a bad friend? We weren't that close, yet it felt like we'd been friends for a long time.

This past Friday was his candlelight procession in school and I wasn't aware of it. That same Friday evening, I strolled out to my school area to buy hair shampoo and decided to go to my friend's cafe and pick up the earpiece I had left with him. On getting to his store, I saw a group of students with their candles, and I was curious, so I asked who had died, but nobody knew, so I just left it. A random bikeman called out to me saying "fine girl, why you no carry your own candle?" At first, I was so pissed because he shouldn't be saying something like that. But when I saw the news on Sunday, I realized it was my friend who was calling me to wish him a last farewell, which I didn't and I feel horrible for that.

I Dm'd his brother and asked what happened, he said it was a brief illness that took his life. I paid my last respect and told him my condolences... I'm still sad at how life can be, one minute we're here and the next we're no more... Value the people you have around you and make sure to call and check up on people.

This was our last chat 😔

Rest on Preye, even tho we never met, you left a huge mark in my heart and I'm grateful to God that you're in a better place 😔🕊️🕊️

This is just a gentle reminder that you should check up on your friends and loved ones. I know everyone is busy trying to figure out one thing or the other about life, but don't forget that we won't be here forever; some of our loved ones will leave early, and some will stay longer. Just check up on the people you love more often so you don't regret it 😔❤️

Images are mine