When Love Breaks Cycles

The Adeboye family prided themselves on being from the Yoruba tribe and deeply rooted themselves in the culture. Mr Adeboye was a retired civil servant from Ibadan. Him and his wife, Mrs Adeboye never failed to remind their kids that "a Yoruba man who forgets his root is like a tree with no soil"

Every sunday after church, their gatherings as a family turned into mini-lectures on how to respect their culture, which includes kneeling properly to greet the elders and also why “ọmọ onílè” must marry “ọmọ onílè,”. They believed that intertribal marriage was "trouble in love`s disguise".

In the same country, in the eastern family, the Nwankwos of Enugu held simillar beliefs. They always told her five girls that a woman must marry a man who understands their ways, their beliefs and their culture, and that can only be a man from their own tribe. Mrs Nwankwo also agreed with her husband and she adds that the world outside their tribe was too unpredictible and different.

Now Femi Adeboye and Chioma Nwankwo attended university of Lagos together, they met at the university of lagos on a humid Monday morning. Femi, who was tall and playful noticed a girl who struggled with a lot of documents while fanning herself with a file.

"Let me help you" he offered, flashing a cute easy smile. Chioma looked up, hesitated and then smiled back. "Thanks, but I got it"

"Ah, I see you don't like help," he teased.

"I just met you, what if you run away with my documents?"

Femi laughed. "I don't steal, I only borrow hearts"

Chioma couldn't hide her smile. And that was how it began _ light, natural, and innocent. They sat beside each other during lectures, did assignments, ate and literally everything on campus together. Chioma admired how nice and respectful Femi was and Femi on the other hand loved Chioma's intelligence and confidence.

By their third year they were inseparable. It just happened. Their love grew in quiet moments, inside jokes, feeling of belonging and shared laughter.

But deep down both of them knew that their families would object to their love.

One night they were sitting outside under a mango tree near the faculty of Arts and Chioma voiced her fear.
"Femi, do you ever think of what will happen after we finally graduate?"

He looked up from the book he was pretending to read. "What do you mean"

"Its about our parents, how they think"

Femi sighed. I know. but I dont care what tribe you're from, you will always be my person"

"I wish love was enough"

"It is," Femi replied firmly, taking her hand. "we'll make them realize that"

They both knew it won't be that simple.

After their graduation, Femi finally decided to tell his parents, and their reactions were explosive as he feared.

"Chioma Nwankwo?" his father repeated. That doesn't sound Yoruba to me"

Yes sir, it's not a yoruba name, that is because she's from the igbo tribe. Femi said carefully.

“Ẹ gbọ o! Igbo ke?” his mother exclaimed, adjusting her wrapper. "Out of all the yoruba girls in the whole Lagos, it's an Igbo girl you see?"

"Mummy she's not just any girl, she's very respectful and kind and she-"

"Respectful or not, she's not yoruba and I will not have you bring confusion into my family!" Mr Adeboye snapped.

"It's not confusion Daddy, love is not confusion." Femi replied with a shaking voice.

"You say love!? What do you know about love? When its time to raise children now which culture will they follow? Will you call them yoruba or Igbo?"

"But Daddy_"

But what!? Mr Adeboye interrupted. "You're even confused you see, my friend this conversation is over, who'll not bring confusion into my family, it is over my dead body that you will do that one"

Chima's home wsn't any easier. The moment she mentioned Femi's name, her mom's face hardened.
Chioma, a yoruba man? No na, haven't you heard how their men treat women, and that name Femi, its only cheats, womanizers that answer that name don't you know? be wise na nnem , let your Daddy not hear this thing o"

"Mama, not everyone is like that, Femi loves me and he respects me so much, he's different," she pleaded.

Her father's voice boomed accross the room. "Bia, that's enough! Have you forgotten who we are? our blood must remain pure biko kwa. Don't bring disgrace to this family."

Chioma's eyes was filled with tears . " So you guys care more about tribe than my own happiness?"

"Nne you'll understand when you get older" Her mom said, refusing to meet her daughter's eyes.

For month's both families closed up against each other, they did everything to separate the union and Femi's father even threatened to disown him if he continues with the relationship, and Chioma's family arranging men for her from the igbo tribe.
But they both stayed strong and was holding on to eaach other through it all.

They began meeting in secrets, and talking to each other for hours, and also trying to think of a way to make them work without turning their backs on their families. They believe that the blessing from the family will smoothen their path and they needed to get that blessing.

Then they both agreed that they bring both families together so they meet each other, believing that maybe it will change their views about each other.

Chioma arranged a dinner with her family and Femi did the same and it was in the same restaurant and the same time, so the both families finally met each other and Femi introduced them. Both families were tense and guarded but they didn't want to be rude by walking out. Femi and Chioma sat between them, nervous but hopeful.

The conversation was stiff at first. Polite greetings, awkward silences, forced smiles. But something strange happened.

Mr Adeboye suddenly froze as he stared at Mr Nwankwo. "Wait...Are you not Obinna Nwankwo from the old ministry of works?".

Mr Nwankwo squinted. "Adeboye....you are that Adeboye from the housing department?"

Both of them were in shock. Years ago they were colleagues, and more than that they were friends until one of them travelled far and they lost contact

"I can't believe this, after all these years..." Mr Adeboye said quietly.

The room went silent, the weight of their prejudice and tribalism hung between them. Their children's love unknowingly brought them back together after so many years.

After that day things didn't change overnight, but their hearts started to soften, first in small ways, less hostile tone , also questions instead of accusation.

Months later Femi's mother saw how dedicated Chioma was in caring for her son, even nursing him through an illness, also how she respects their culture and greets her elders. She slowly began to warm up to her, and believing that maybe its true that love doesn't speak one language.

Also Chioma's father saw how kind Femi was and how he helped fix a borehole in their village during a visit, he nodded silently. "He has a good heart," he admitted.

It took time and patience, but eventually both families agreed to bless the union.

Femi and Chioma finally got married and their wedding day was a beautifull mix of cultures. Yoruba drummers playing alongside igbo dancers, also the guests got a taste of Amala (Yoruba tribe food) and Abacha (Igbo tribe food) and it was amazing. Both fathers sat side by side, laughing as old friends and they were glad they blessed the union.

Femi and Chioma danced beautifully under a sky full of stars, as they knew thay had done something greater than fall in love.

They broke a cycle.

_{Images used in this post were generated using Canva AI}