Getting old 🧓👵 and learning what doesn't really matter. 🤔💭

I am having a day of reminiscing, remembering my past how things have changed and how I have changed. I was always very quite, never wanting to say anything incase I offended anyone or incase I let to much slip about my past abuse. I was bullied alot for my family not having any money so we didn't get the nice things my so called friends got. How soft I was but now wishing I could be me back then, me knowing what I know and being through so much seems to give you a feeling of I don't give a fook anymore. I have earned that after everything I have been through.

I think you learn as you get older, I'm now able to stand up for myself I don't care what others think of me, we are here for such a short time and we don't get a second chance. Make your mark and try to enjoy everyday, it's something I have learned to do recently. I'm 59 very soon, I have to be thankful as not a lot of people get the honour of getting old.

Anyway

I am sitting in my usual seat looking out at nothing as the view isn't great with flats that are so close to us the builders didn't care about our privacy. We bought this house in 1989 thankfully we paid off our mortgage last year so the house is ours. This is the view I get when I pull the voiles upen.

Its not a nice view slightly better since we added the decking and fencing. When we bought this house we were told the flats on the right hand side are coming down 34 years later there still here. When we first moved in the flat were filled with people they couldn't find houses for, nuisance neighbours, drugs and drink thankfully now they are filled with families and people who care about the area. We don't have any trouble from them apart from not having any privacy in our gardens. We did get a garden bargain when buying the house, it cost us £32,000 now its worth £125,000 not a bad investment. But that me and hubby will enjoy the money we are leaving it all to my daughter Nichola.

Nichola has wanted her own place for a while now sadly the way things are going in this country she will have to stay with mum and dad until we are gone then she can sell the house and contents then putting it all down on a flat, she's always wanted a flat. I said she could just keep the house abs live here for nothing but wants her own place with her partner and make her own memories. I've told her she has to wait until we go from natural causes she can't help us going come any quicker. Thankfully I trust her, don't know what I would do without her, she a, massive support for me, keeps me feeling calm and looking forward, she texts me everyday if she's not here checking we are OK. We never fall out for long as one of us will always say something to make each other laugh. She's back home tomorrow after spending the weekend with her boyfriend we are going to li through the TV guide to find something for us both to watch together so we get our mummy and daughter time.

Thank you for visiting 💟💟