Acepting is an Act of Loving - Weekend-Engagement #264

Hello, there! It's the end of June. Half a year already. Hope you're doing ok, and Happy Pride, if there is someone celebrating it.

What about yourself do you have trouble accepting or acknowledging and why?

First off all, I'm not here to impose any ideology of any kind. Here, I'm just talking about myself.

There was a time of my life when I refuse to accept who I was. Partially, I was because of the society I live in, and fear of rejection.

all of this made me live part of my teen years and my twenties in total stress. I didn't want to accept that I could love different people, regarding of if it was a man or a woman.

I had trouble in accepting this part of myself, and I kind of rejected it. I didn't want anyone to know about it, and I didn't want to talk about it, either.

Remembering the firsts years of my twenties, there was this lady who joked about me being gay, and she was directly about that. I denied it, of course, but that made me anxious. I got a lot of pain; physically and emotionally. I got migraine for months while I lied to myself about this thing that I knew, but I wasn't able to put in words out loud.

Finally, I meditated about it, and concluded that it's nobody's business my personal life. And with all of this in mind, I want to tell you that yesterday was my first Pride March. It was the first time I went to this march, and celebrate with people that fight for the same rights that straight people. This might not be nice to some people, but I do believe that all of us are human being, and we have the right to love.

I went alone, I do not have friend in the city I am living, but there I bump into some students. They were friendly, and though I don't teach them specifically, they know me and have made a pleasant bond with me. I respect them, and always try to give them some advice about life.

They stayed with me during the march, and left early because we didn't want to get home late. We laughed and enjoy, and get some cute bracelets.

So after not accepting me, and not being kind to myself, I am now giving me the chance to be just me, without thinking about negative opinions. If I'd want that, I would give them myself.