It’s my 24th birthday!— A Story of Growing Up and Feeling Seen

Hello everyone :)!

Today is my 24th birthday and I want to share something personal with you, something that’s been visiting me on birthdays.

As a kid, birthdays were everything to me. The one time I was the star. I had the most amazing parties. My parents would hang up flags, there were cakes with Barbie dolls and pictures on them. I would always eat some icing the day before🤣. I remember one grandma asking me did I eat it and I panicked so much and said it was the mouse🤣🤣. Our house would be full of people, good vibes, and gifts (a kid’s favorite). And for a moment, I felt truly special. Those moments are still core memories that make me smile :).

My last “big” celebration was when I turned 18, two separate parties, one with school friends and one with family friends. After that, it felt like the magic kind of.. disappeared?? People started forgetting my birthday… I started feeling alone. I never had a big friend group, not even people I could call true friends so it became a reality check.

One birthday that still hurts me was when I was celebrating my 21st bday. It was just before WRC Croatia Rally when I was a volunteer. I invited my then friends out to a restaurant, booked a table, got a cake and everything… all for only one person to show up. The rest canceled that same day with the worst excuses. I felt so embarrassed and hurt because birthdays aren’t supposed to feel like that. Since then, I’ve been telling people that birthdays don’t matter to me anymore. That they’re just another day..

But that’s not the truth.

I love birthdays. I love being remembered, receiving messages, seeing people make effort; it means the world to me. I always go out of my way to make others feel special on their birthdays, and deep down, I wish the same would happen for me. The past few weeks, I had birthday blues. I cried more than I’d like to admit😅. I felt like this one would be just another sad reminder of how lame I am.

But you know what?

Today was different.

Today was beautiful.

The wonderful @ssekulji waited until midnight with me to congratulate me :). He and my two other friends were the first to send me birthday wishes… and tbh I cried happy tears at that moment. For the first time in a while, I felt truly remembered and seen. Such a small gesture seemed so big to me.

Slaven and I went to Karlovac to celebrate, a charming little town just 30 minutes from Zagreb. The weather was being all “nya-nya” little raindrops every five minutes😐.

• This was my look for today💁🏼‍♀️. I did my makeup and hair. Had to go into another year feeling pretty :)

We made a quick stop at McDonalds so my hungry self could munch on something before the sweet cake🤣. I wanted tacos but the restaurant closed at 4 pm :(. But the day was still perfect.

I picked up some birthday cake and juice, and we went to a nearby park to celebrate. As soon as we sat down, the rain stopped and the sun came out, almost like the universe was giving me a little gift🥹. Like any woman I bothered Slaven to take pictures of me and he did an amazing job 🤣🫡! Insta worthy photos, might I add!!!

• As you can see I’m a big NFL fan😆

• Perfect pic right!?

He gifted me a CD from my favorite band Vatra (the album Aritmija which I love so much!!!).

• Taken with a Polaroid camera!

Here are some of my favorite songs from the album:

https://youtu.be/XFtMml2vf40?si=zy6JbZq8CYUGGLd5

https://youtu.be/fWJ5OwjFzdA?si=9eMHYmZriIYOkoJB

https://youtu.be/vHmu_bbKo1o?si=OET4bhjBTT9-xqyc

We also played a round of Ludo (which is called (trans.) “Man don’t get mad”… I did the last time we played🤣) — I won, obviously. Queen behavior only💁🏼‍♀️!

It was simple, but so full of love and care that I’ll always remember it with a big smile on my face.

Thank you @ssekulji for making my day wonderful :)!

Turning 24 feels weird, though. It’s an age I’ve never been before, and I’ll never be 23 again. Or 22, or 19… or 9. Time moves so fast, and I wish I could hold onto the beautiful moments just a little longer.

But I know that’s what memories are for. And this birthday?

This one will be one of the beautiful ones I keep close to my heart❤️.

Thank you to those who remembered me today. You made me feel important, accepted, and loved.

That’s all I ever really wanted :).

I hope you enjoyed reading this post. Thank you for upvoting, reblogging & commenting. It is greatly appreciated :)❤️!

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