Seek and ye shall find
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"Micha this is good news! Why the face?"
"I hate him Mabel, I hate him with every fibre in my being."
"You hate him and you've been with him for how long? Five years, right? You hate him and he just proposed and you said yes and you are in my house breaking the news with a sad face." Touching her forehead with the back of her palm, Mabel continued, "when last did you treat Malaria? Because I can see that you are not well."
Micah gave Mabel a long hiss, while simultaneously hitting her hand off her head. She was tempted to agree with Mabel, maybe something is really wrong with her, probably a high fever she thought as she placed both her hands between her legs gently rocking her body forward and backward. She seemed to be in a fix, Gabriel is a good man but has his shortcomings too and she could say that she loves him but there's this unexplained hate that rises from her gut whenever she thinks of him. No day goes by without them arguing bitterly over trivia issues.
They can't stand each other and at the same time, they can't be without one another. If for anything, this the longest relationship she's been in also, if there is one thing that Micah hates is a lousy man. Lousiness is something that she saw play out in her parents' marriage.
Micha’s father was so laid back that her mother became the breadwinner, something that goes against everything that Micah believes in. But why should she still be putting up with Gabriel who constantly demands money from her, collects money from her purse without her knowledge and expects her to clean up after him every now and then. Why should she see her father's character play out worse in Gabriel yet, she couldn't take that walk.
"I will leave him, I will leave him is all that I have been saying since his ugly side started playing out. Five years gone and I just said yes to someone I shouldn't be considering lifetime with. Stupid stupid!" Micah yelled as she drove, hitting the steering as hard as she could.
She continued, "Mabel that I even thought she could help me ended up abusing me but what if she's right? Do I really need therapy?" Kissing her teeth, Micah carried on lamenting as she drove home at high speed.
The following day, Micah had woken up with Gabriel snoring by her side. She took a hard look at him and suddenly felt the hate creeping in from her guts. She searched through her mind but could not pin the hate down to Gabriel's lousy nature.
As she thought hard to identify where the hate is coming from, she found herself tightening her fist while grabbing on her nightwear. Before she knew it, she was up at the refrigerator, holding a chilled bottle of water in one hand, and loosening the cap with her other hand. She made her way to the room and emptied the chilled bottle of water on Gabriel's body causing him to jolt.
With the AC on, Gabriel got extremely cold which caused him to wrap his arms around himself. His confusion was quick to clear when he saw Micah staring at him with a tightened face and lined veins at the side of her head and forehead.
Usually, Gabriel would charge at her and they would quarrel and exchange hurtful words. But to Micah's disappointment, Gabriel grabbed his towel from the closet door. He cleaned himself up and went into the bathroom. There was no energy from Gabriel for Micah to feed on but she wasn't backing down. She held onto her unexplained anger and started with her verbal abuse. She got even more angry that Gabriel was not reciprocating in their usual manner.
Still holding onto her anger, Micah yelled at the top of her voice, upon sighting Gabriel coming out of the bathroom, "so if I don't wake you up, you won't know you need to be up for work? I must remind you and push you before you know what to do. Even if you are senseless, surely all these while we were together, you must have taken corrections already but no. Micah should always yell like a mad woman."
Gabriel was quiet all through and did not react in anger, he simply got dressed, wore some of his perfumes and headed for the door but he held back after twisting the door knob. He had a brief moment at the door. Closing his eyes, he took in several deep breaths while exhaling calmly at intervals. He turned away from the door and walked up to Micah giving her a tight hug. A reaction out of the blues which caused Micah to break.
Next, Gabriel spoke calmly in her ear, "we shall be doing together forever babe, we do not need this sort of energy." Releasing his embrace, Gabriel rubbed on Micah's arms consoling and assuring her that they will be fine. He turned to leave again but halted half way and said, "by the way babe, it's Saturday. I do not work on Saturdays." Immediately, the unexplained anger resurfaced and Micah knew she needed help.
Who better to call in a situation of the unknown than her mother who follows the way of the mystics?
"If Mabel cannot help, sure my mom could". Micah thought to herself as she dialed her mom. Like her mom was expecting her call, the phone didn't ring for long before she picked up.
"Hey baby" Micah's mom called out in excitement.
"Hi mom.... So Gabriel proposed."
"Oh wow! Finally, Congratulations my dear."
"No mom, not congratulations. I hate him.... I love him but at the same I hate him.” Micha’s voice got teary as she continued, “the hate is so strong that I can't help it. I see him make efforts to sort things out between us but I don't know mom. I just can't move past the hate. I fear I might lose him".
"Hmmm.. how long has this been going on?" Micha's mother questioned.
"From the first day mom, the first day that I met him"
"Really now Micah? And you are just calling for my help now?"
"I'm sorry mom, didn't know we'd go this far". Michael pleaded while sniffing in-between.
Breathing out loudly, Micha's mom inquired, "well, did you at least say yes?"
"I did mom"
"Great! Makes the situation less complicated. You know what I always say to you as a child? The mind is an archive and it houses the answer to all unanswered questions all you have to do is tune in."
"You are seriously confusing me now mom. How do I tune in, how do I get the answers from my mind, what do I do?"
"I taught you all this baby. You need to remember. Gotta run now bye."
"Wait! Hello? Mom!!!... Goddammit! She hung up, she hung up on me." Micah screamed in frustration, but she knew her mother had gotten the dice rolling for her and she has work to do.
Not long after, Micah started searching the internet on how to tune in, she read books and she practiced all what she studied. Most importantly, it brought back memories of all she learned from her mom. While it seemed like she wasn't getting the answers that she seeks, she felt more at peace and the hatred she thought that she had, seemed to be curtailed. She and Gabriel were getting along plus they were visibly making efforts to work things out.
Then one night, Micah had a dream. She saw herself getting married to someone else and a man hanging dead from the tree. Apparently from the dream, the dead man is Gabriel, he had loved Micah with all his heart but she left him to marry someone else because he was poor and could not help her family at a time when they needed financial assistance to save her mother. In exchange for the father's friend to help out, Micah was given to him as a bride and she had no choice but to accept.
Still dreaming, the scene changed. This time around, Micah was seen on the run with Gabriel. They had fallen in love against the wishes of their parents and had both eloped to another country to get married and start up their life together. While their plan seemed to have worked out fine, Gabriel got a call from home on a matter of life and death. He left a pregnant Micah and never returned.
In the dream, Micah lived the rest of her life in pain and in hate for Gabriel.
She woke up from the dream feeling strongly of hate and pain. She looked at Gabriel, shook her head and left the room for the sitting room. Looking at the time, she saw that it was past 4am in the morning. She couldn't wait for dawn as she needed to understand the dream and how it connects to her present life. Calling her mom, the phone rang severally with no response. Micah, knowing fully well that her mother will be fast asleep, kept calling.
Just when she thought to leave it, her phone rang, jumping on it, without even confirming if it was her mom, Micah narrated her dream hastily without even giving her mother a chance to say hello. When she got done with her narration, her mother couldn't help but laugh.
After having a good laugh, she said to Micah, "congratulations on your first soul travel experience, you did not only get the answer that you seek, you got to travel back in time to experience it. It's all in your hands now to end it in this lifetime or keep the ball rolling.”
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